Just realised that my last post was in early Nov… Oh gosh! Where have I been and what have I done?
I have been thinking alot…about the past mainly… Friendships in particular… I wondered to myself, which is worst? Some one out right tell you the truth? OR Someone telling you a white lie (so as to make you feel better) and you found out that it was just a lie? I would wanted truth but if the truth is too much in my face I don’t think I can take it… But then again, when I found that later that I have been lied too, I felt a big ouch in my heart (and even some anger). Perhaps, its a sign I should move on…
They are others whereby I realised how fake I am infront of them… I mean we used to be a clique but when I had the opportunity to talk to them (some I din even see them for like 2 years?!) vs. JF’s friends at the same time I realised how fake I was with them. I have decided to not to keep in contact with them again (maybe just one). She feels the most ‘real’ amongst them.
And then there are the ones who used you. I have a friend in tertiary study who asked me to be a guarantor and phoof! she disappeared after that… She showed up again when she first got engaged and phoof! she disappeared. Her wedding is next month and yup! she showed up again (fyi, this time with a dif guy). Argh! As much as I missed our days together, they are so over.
Most of the time, I do care… I do try to stay connected but sometimes the will is not as strong as the heart… But for the few friends I am left with, YES! you are definitely my focus…
Other stuff (non friendship stuff)… My mum has been quite a pain in the *** eversince I got married. I think the most bizzare thing she has done to date is to ‘book’ the confinement lady for me when I am not even like P!
Work stuff has been crazy, I am like the only employee or rather lower rank staff in the company. Everyone else who is leaving will hand their portfolio to me! Am I the dumpster or what? Just have to hang in there…I need $$$ to pay bills and most importantly fund my holidays… But if you do see adverts in my future employer(you know which one I am referring to ya), please let me know ASAP!
Weekends are mostly filled with house warmings (I am losing count) and recently baking. Our recent flop (yes, flop) is butter cake. We are trying to fix the problem and hopefully by the time it reaches you the next time, they are FAB! wuhahahha…Who knows?! Baking maybe my career?
Alrighty, JF is on his way home and I need to play housewife for the first time in weeks (oops! I have been a bad wife).